Struggling to write female characters, guys? Try these tips

Much has been said about how to write female characters. Much more has been said about how not to write them.

No more Manic Pixie Dream Girls. No more Women in Refrigerators. No more passive listeners or damsels in distress. Even the phrase “strong female character” has been called into question.

But writing tropes are like substandard housing. It’s not enough to tear down bad ones. You have to replace them with good ones.

I hope I’ve avoided the most egregious offenses listed above. Like most men, however, I find writing women and girls something less than second nature, even after more than three decades in close observation of “the female of the species.”

My wife and I raised three daughters and also had four foster daughters in our home, along with countless friends, college roommates and others. During trips to the store, I’ve been asked to pick up every undergarment, cosmetic and personal item known to womankind. None of that, however, makes me an expert on women.

So what’s a fella to do when he’s a writer and doesn’t want to limit all his plots to a monastery? While you can’t crawl inside someone else’s head, here are some things to try:

1) Think of someone you know.

Growing up, our daughters and their friends provided an ever-changing cast of characters with a variety of foibles and interests. So, when I sat down to write “The Date Test,” a story with a female protagonist in my book "Lion Taming, Dating and Other Dangerous Endeavors," I naturally thought of many of the young people who trooped through our house over the years.

Although I took some physical cues from movie stars Julia Roberts and Anne Hathaway, one of my daughters saw herself in Ivy and one of her sisters in Ivy’s chum Brittany, so I must have been on the right track. I really grew to like Ivy and her friends, so I was glad to hear that someone found something she could relate to in those characters.

2) Give her something to do.

In CB radio slang, a “seat cover” is an attractive female passenger, but even fictional characters deserve to be more than just “along for the ride.”

When I started writing “Their Old School,” Ronnie Locke was merely an old “girlfriend” whose presence complicated the hero’s conflict with the “villain.” But, as I got into the story, I knew Ronnie wouldn’t stand for that. She was an intelligent career woman and single mom, in many ways superior to the hero himself. She wasn’t going to just tag along on an adventure. She needed to be an equal participant. In Joe and Ronnie’s search for the jewels, some of the best ideas are hers.

3) Ask what she wants (besides a guy).

In theory, we all have reasons for what we do, and understanding those motivations is the key to understanding the character. While that’s best practice, it’s not always easy. When Fitz poses this question to Lesa in “For the Love of Fitz,” she responds, “What do I want?” Sometimes, we just don’t know, and often, what we want most is the love and acceptance of someone else.

A clear contrast is drawn between two characters in my short story “Mystery Girl.” Missy has a clear goal in mind, solving a decades-old murder mystery. Sierra, on the other hand, is more conflicted. Feelings of abandonment and jealousy cloud her judgment and make it more difficult to focus on what she really wants.

4) Give her someone to talk to.

You may have heard of the Bechdel Test, which asks whether a work of fiction includes two women who talk to each other about something other than a man. I can’t say I’ve always passed this test, but it’s a good goal. It makes you think about the number of female characters in a story and the roles they play.

Of the 12 short stories in my recent book, all but two have more than one female character, and at least half depict females talking about something other than a man. In “On the Road With Sister Mary Peter,” both of the main characters are women, and they never talk about men once. That’s probably because they're both nuns. Still, that’s not a bad scorecard overall with room for improvement.

5) Turn a male character into a female.

If you’re a male author and you naturally think of characters as other guys, ask yourself, “What if I had a woman fill that role instead?” For instance, what if Sgt. Truncheon, the crusty police inspector from “Whitefish: A Detective Story,” had been a woman instead of a man? It might have been fun listening to her bust Gat Tallow’s chops.

This technique has become something of a standard in TV reboots of the past 20 years. (Think Starbuck in “Battlestar Galactica” or Kono in “Hawaii Five-O.”) In fact, it’s become a bit of a cliche, but it still has potential if your goal is to create an interesting new character and not just take a shortcut by recasting an existing one with the opposite sex.

I did this in my story, "Seeing the Cryptid," and was more than pleased with the results. Lark Alder, the college intern who repeatedly brings the overenthusiastic Bigfoot researchers down to earth, was originally envisioned as a young man. But I asked myself, "Why couldn't a young woman do the same thing?" The change made for a more interesting character and a more balanced story.

While writing “Lion Taming, Dating and Other Dangerous Endeavors,” I really grew fond of many of my characters and felt a pang of sadness when I knew our time together was nearing an end. That’s my best advice regardless of who you are or the characters you’re writing about. If you’ll miss them when they’re gone, you’ve probably done justice by them — and your readers, too.